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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038973">apple of my eye</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/citronnes/pseuds/citronnes'>citronnes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A little introspective, Canon Compliant, High School, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Language, Overthinking, Promises, Zine: Blossoms Entwined - A Kuroken Fanzine, lev as a plot device</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:13:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/citronnes/pseuds/citronnes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>kenma is distinctly aware he's being avoided. it's eating at him; kenma doesn't like it at all, but most of all, he misses his best friend.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>apple of my eye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>if you bought the any of the zine bundles, thank you so much for supporting the amazon conservation fund! there are many wonderful artists and authors in this zine, and i hope you enjoy it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It is just them in the empty space of the locker room. Just Kuroo’s head buried in his chest and the shaking sobs that run through Kuroo’s body. Kenma stands while Kuroo sits on the bench. The sting of defeat sits heavy on their shoulders, and the silence eats away at what dignity is left. Frustration clogs Kenma’s throat, makes his tongue feel heavy, but he has never needed words to comfort Kuroo, just the familiarity of his presence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>//</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lately, Kenma does not see much of Kuroo. It makes sense, but it doesn’t at the same time. Kenma might be the only person other than Kuroo’s father who is distinctly aware that the senior is on the cusp of graduating and leaving for college. The thought leaves the junior in a state of uncertainty he does not want to be in. He reasons with himself that Kuroo is just busy preparing for entrance exams as much of his time had been used preparing for Nationals. With there no longer being a need to attend practice, Kuroo and the other seniors can stay at the library until as late as possible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t bother Kenma, but it does. Even if Kuro was studying, he’d study with Kenma, or at least in Kenma’s presence. Kuro was always there in Kenma’s room much like a permanent light fixture. Playing games with just him on the bed without Kuro wrapped around him fills Kenma with a sensation similar to vertigo. It hits him in a way that leaves him dizzy and unable to stand without stumbling. Without Kuro, his balance is off. Kenma doesn’t understand why it bothers him so much; he just knows that it does just the same way mosquito bites bother him in the summer. Itchy under the skin, but does he bother to scratch?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma knows the itch will go away if he’ll leave it alone (Kuro has reprimanded him enough times), but he’s much too aware of its presence, and even just knowing about it makes him want to scratch. Kenma caves to his impulses. He looks for Kuro as soon as the last class ends. There’s volleyball practice, but Kenma doesn’t particularly care about being late if it meant being able to confront Kuro. The captain—ex-captain—is easily spotted in the crowd of students. For once, Kenma is glad Kuro is so tall with a head full messy rooster hair. He does not like how there’s a sea of people he needs to get through to reach Kuro, but he needs to or the uncomfortable feeling will never go away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The uncomfortable feeling only gets worse. Kuro is surrounded by his third year friends, a lot of them </span>
  <em>
    <span>girls,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and he’s smiling, laughing even. The vertigo comes back. Ah, Kenma shouldn’t have scratched. Kenma wants to leave, but his head is swimming, and his legs feel like jelly. He can’t look up or the ceiling lights will blind him, and he can’t look down or the nausea will force its way up his throat. If he looks at Kuro though, the unease settles, and the vertigo clears. Kenma doesn’t know what to make of that, but he really needs to stay grounded. Except Kuro looks back and catches Kenma’s eyes. Kuro’s face is one of panic as if Kenma wasn’t supposed to be here. He looks so stricken that Kenma disappears into the crowd, eager to run away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I not important to you, Kuro?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma is surprised to find Yaku at the gym. The setter doesn’t think he particularly likes the way the libero is looking at him, eyes full of mirth like he knows something Kenma doesn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shouldn’t you be—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Studying,” Yaku cuts in. “Yes, yes, I know. Got bored and needed a breather.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why isn’t—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kuroo here?” Being cut off is starting to annoy him. Yaku’s expression shifts with a roll of his eyes. “Up to him how he chooses to spend his time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The itch is back, and Kenma doesn’t know why it bothers him or, nor does he know where it’s stemming from, and it takes him everything to swallow the anxiety down. He tries to process his thoughts in a rational manner the same way he would think about the next play in a match. Kuro isn’t spending as much time with him and is spending it with other people. Kuro looked uncomfortable seeing Kenma. It is as if Kenma no longer has priority in Kuro’s life. He has never been one to put a distinct label on his relationships and give them significance, but for perhaps the first time, Kenma realizes his friendship with Kuro is important and is not too keen on losing it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, whatever. He’ll be here for the wrap up party,” Yaku says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Parties have never been Kenma’s thing nor will they ever be, but this will most likely be his best chance to see what Kuro has to say for himself. Goddamn, he doesn’t feel like dealing with this shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>//</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why is Kenma here again?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>To corner Kuro and get an answer, right. It doesn’t mean that Kenma is particularly enjoying being among the rest of the team setting up for the party. He, unfortunately, has to hand Lev the streamers that will hang from the ceiling. The freshman is tall enough that he doesn’t even have to be standing near the upper rungs of the ladder. Kenma wants to strangle his (small) bare hands around Lev’s neck as he refuses to shut up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“—excited to be a junior next year. Kenma-san don’t you think being a senior is exciting?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma doesn’t look at Lev when handing the next set of streamers. “No,” he answers dryly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Aw, but it must be so nice to not have to worry about anything after college apps.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“College,” Kenma replies with clear distaste. There’s still half the box left to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I mean, yeah, studying to get into college seems like a real hassle. Watching Yaku-san study makes me tired. Also, I think I’m gonna really miss all the seniors when they leave. The team just won’t be the same anymore.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma hates that Kuro is leaving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you and Kuroo-san are really close. It’s gonna be really weird with him gone right? Like as captain of the team,” Lev continues to drone on, “and as your best friend. But it’s not like you guys are gonna stop being friends, I mean with the whole promise ring surprise thing going on.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma whips his head up at Lev’s words at the same time Kuro enters the gym. His eyes go wide mirroring Kuro’s expression. He’s vaguely aware of Yaku berating Lev off to the side, but right now, all Kenma can think about is running after Kuro.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma doesn’t run for anything. Not for class, not for practice, and definitely not for people. He sprints after Kuro in a way that has him out of the gym within seconds. Ah shit, he’s definitely breathing way too hard, and his thighs are burning much too quickly. But Kuro is just within reach, and Kenma pushes hard for one last turn around the corner. He’s got him now, stuck at a dead end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you run?” Kenma pants out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuro slumps against the wall with his eyes on the ground. “Didn’t think I could face you right now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Like you’ve been for weeks? Kuro, what am I to you? Because it sure doesn’t seem like your friend,” Kenma snaps. Aw shit, his voice is wavering, and his eyes are definitely tearing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuro lifts his head and smiles weakly. “You </span>
  <em>
    <span>are</span>
  </em>
  <span> my friend, my </span>
  <em>
    <span>best</span>
  </em>
  <span> friend,” he says simply, stretching out his arms for a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma is stubborn. He’s stubborn about not putting in a hundred percent of his effort at practice, about his desire to play games to the point he’ll wake up at 2am, about getting the limited edition apple pie at the gourmet bakery located in the subway station, but he has never been stubborn enough to refuse a hug from Kuro. There is something warm, something comforting about being wrapped in Kuro’s arms. A feeling like home. Kenma buries his face in the crook of the captain’s neck and shoulder and breathes in deeply. He relaxes as Kuro rubs circles into his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” he apologizes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You better be,” Kenma mumbles and leans into Kuro’s touch as he strokes Kenma’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Lev ruined the surprise,” Kuroo states.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… what’s that all about? A ring, Kuro? A promise ring?” He lifts his head to look up at Kuro who is definitely blushing. Well then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve been thinking since we lost at Nationals. I’m leaving for college. I’ll be away from the team, my dad, </span>
  <em>
    <span>you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” His voice drops at the last word. Kenma is nervous, palms sweaty, heart beating erratically, but he’s anticipating. “I was gonna confess to you at the party.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kenma’s eyes go comically round. Kuro smiles at him fondly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, Kenma. Always have and always will. It’s been a thing for a long time, and I finally gathered the courage to do something about it. After the game, I realized that there’s only one person in my life I wanna spend it with. You.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a cool sensation of relief flooding Kenma’s body like when putting lotion on a mosquito bite. He can breathe just fine, and there is no nausea. It’s just him in the safety of Kuro’s arms. And Kenma realizes that oh, he probably loves Kuro too.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re still young, so I didn’t want to do anything too crazy y’know? So I got us promise rings,” Kuro says excitedly while taking something out of his pocket. “That day you saw me in the hallway I was going to pick them up. See, they’re sterling silver and eng—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I haven’t even said yes yet,” Kenma interrupts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kuro stops. “Oh shit. Oh shit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughs at Kuro’s reaction. “You’re an idiot. My idiot though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait. So you mean—?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Kuro,” Kenma replies softly. “I love you.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tysm for reading, leave a kudos and/or comment if you enjoyed it&lt;3</p><p>my <a href="https://twitter.com/cyjpillar">twt</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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